The Terrors of Jordan Mendoza

Judge sentenced me to death cause I took a bank hostage? Don't think I know how to use a gun. These guys really wanna tell me about their wives.

I'm going to Hogwarts!

Dream where I explore a haunted hospital. It's fine except Steve got a terminal diagnosis. I hope he's okay.

Found this leprechaun. Nice guy. Then went to war and my best friend died, but there's a therapy that will make that okay.

Ok. Time for me to relax and get a massage. That'll help.

Dr. Thomas has been helping me a lot. I think.

I'm Batman, I think! Also some guy keeps booking the lactation room. I wonder what he's doing in there.

Insane dream where this assassin is trying to kill me, and I wrote a book. I don't know.

Dream journal: My son is a very talented artist but for some reason that's bad for me. Also the Devil sold me HIS soul? He texts a lot.

Do you ever get brain fog? I'm done!

More bad dreams. I'm the bathroom hand dryer. Also somebody call the police, these idiots are freaking out.

We work right next to the Tiny Desk Concerts. What a perk!

I think I'm in love; well, at least I love my sister, but in a different way.